You probably won’t read this anytime soon, but in the hopes that one day you will want to find material to tease me about I am writing to you this letter with the hopes you will come across it (inshaAllah).
I remember the day mom told me she was going to have another baby, I was with her in the carpool line waiting for the rest of the siblings to finish school. She had just picked me up from middle school–I was in 7th grade to be exact. She got quiet and she said, “Sara, I have something to tell you,” and to be honest I got a little scared, she continued, “InshaAllah you are going to have another brother or sister.” I was ECSTATIC and then it hit me, there would be 13 years between us and to me that was just insane. I already have 10 years on Muhammad, now I was going to have 13 years on you! The time passed and names were argued upon, I remember Yusuf being a contender, which by the way, since mom and dad didn’t take it I really want that name for one of my sons inshaAllah =). Time started to pass and mom grew and grew, she also got bored and painted a mural to keep herself busy during the pregnancy.
Soon it came time for you to come out, August 2001. But of course, you having Haddad blood, were just a litte stubborn and did NOT want to come out. It was HOT outside and mom would walk every night trying to go into labor, she ate spicy food (which we know she can’t handle) and was just trying to get you to cooperate! Finally one night, she thought it was time and Samira was actually spending the night at our house, we all ended up at Aamou Aboud’s house with the hopes we would wake up with a baby brother and cousin. Our wish came true, you came around 4 am on August 9th, 2001. I remember going to visit you in the hospital and holding you for the first time. You were my baby brother and I was able to hold you on my own without anyone bothering me! That night I spent it in the hospital with mom and you. I remember the AC was on so high and I had my cot underneath the vent so I had a cough. But I was so scared that if they thought I was sick that they wouldn’t let me near you and I didn’t want to be away from you, you were so special to me. I didn’t sleep the whole night trying to keep my cough down.
Then a month later, something crazy happened, September 11th. You won’t remember this cause you were only a month old but it changed our world. I remember you were the reason I would come home every day excited from school because you were like my teddy bear, except better. You started to grow and develop. You learned to laugh and giggle and play games. I liked to hold you because you would snuggle up in my arms, fall asleep, and then we would both sleep on the couch. Mama would get SOOOO mad at me because I used you as an excuse to sleep all day, I can’t help it you were so cuddly.
You then learned to crawl, soon after how to walk. One time I was playing with you and had you bouncing on my chest while I was lying flat on the floor, you giggled until you threw up…. literally…in my mouth. I remember feeding you, I remember how you used to torture our cat Cleo. She would sleep and you would crawl up to her and poke her–so in return she would do the same to you.
Soon enough you started to dance and talk in full sentences. You used to call me “rara” and point to things going “enh enh enh” until we figured out what you want. I remember when you were potty trained and how mama tried for a week. It was only till she gave up and said that she doesn’t care if you want to spend the rest of your life in diapers that she didn’t care, and that was it. You learned to go to the bathroom. I remember when you started pre-school and would cry every day when mom left you to go to her classroom, and the sad part was you would only cry quietly. It’s funny, if I wanted to skip a day at school I used you as an excuse to stay home and take care of you. I remember the times it was just me and you at home and you would sit in my lap and hold my hand.
But alas, you grew up, you started to read and write and have friends. You started to develop into this little man who had a personality and loved Legos. You reminded me of myself a lot, and I see a lot of what I was as a kid in you. You remind me how to be a kid and I know I can run around the house screaming with you. I love coming home at the end of a long hard day because you put a smile on my face and let me know that it will be alright. I don’t know what I would do without you =).
I pray that Allah always guides you on the straightest of paths, I pray that He always keeps harm and those who will harm away from you. I pray that Allah blesses all your actions and makes you the best of people. I pray that He gives you the strength to deal with life and the patience to see past people’s actions. I pray that Allah reminds you to keep up with your prayers, fasting, and religious obligations so that you can be an example for those around you. You have a conscious and such an inquisitive nature and I pray that Allah helps you expand and explore your horizons. This world is a better place with you in it.
You sister, Sara.